And the Oscar goes to?

No commentary. Haven't even seen all the films, actually. Just doing this for fun. That being said - Day & Night better win!

PICTURE The King's Speech WON!

ACTOR Colin Firth – The King's Speech WON!

SUPPORTING ACTOR Christian Bale – The Fighter WON!

ACTRESS Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine

Natalie Portman - Black Swan WON!

SUPPORTING ACTRESS Melissa Leo – The Fighter WON!

DIRECTOR Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan

Tom Hooper - The King's Speech WON!

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE Restropo

Inside Job WON!

DOCUMENTARY SHORT The Warriors of Quigang

Strangers No More WON!

ANIMATED FEATURE Toy Story 3 WON!

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM Biutiful

In a Better World WON!

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY Christopher Nolan - Inception

The King's Speech WON!

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network WON!

CINEMATOGRAPHY Black Swan

Inception WON!

MAKEUP The Wolfman WON!

ART DIRECTION Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1

Alice in Wonderland WON!

ANIMATED SHORT FILM Day & Night

The Lost Thing WON!

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM Wish 143

God of Love WON!

VISUAL EFFECTS Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1

Inception WON!

COSTUME DESIGN Alice in Wonderland WON!

FILM EDITING Black Swan

The Social Network WON!

SOUND MIXING Inception WON!

SOUND EDITING Inception WON!

ORIGINAL SCORE Inception

The Social Network WON!

ORIGINAL SONG "I See the Light” - Tangled

"We Belong Together" - Toy Story 3 WON!

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb (part 2)

More writing from my late teens/early 20s. Continue to be amazed by:

An Evening of Sexual Intercourse with Reality

ACT 1

Setting: A dimly lit McDonalds

Time: 6:02 p.m.

SHE: (blowing smoke into HIS face):

Do you know what that means?

ACT 2

Setting: Same as ACT 1

Time: A second later

HE:

Yeah, it means I'm going to throw up if you don't stop!

THE END

and...

Bedside Insanity

Qadaffi's alive.

G.I. Joe's gotten smaller.

Quadaffi's still alive.

Boo Berry's aren't to be found in any store.

Kadaffi... yep, he's still alive.

Fats Domino's not getting any younger.

Gadaffy still lives.

Jason lives - another new beginning.

Codaphi's alive and well,

And I'm still waking up in the middle of the night

making love to my pillow.

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb. THIS is the (appropriately named) folder I came upon this weekend of writing from my late teens/early 20s.

I present you with:

In the Waiting Room

I fell in love with you.

O.K., so maybe it was lust, but no matter what it was, it felt good. I even knew you had a boyfriend but something in me didn't give a shit. I saw the way he treated you and knew that wasn't how you were to be treated. Not a day went by when I didn't see you two arguing, usually resulting with you crying and him walking away. Still you stayed with him even when I promised you more of my love than he could even supply.

"Wait" was the reply so "wait" was what I did. I "waited" when I saw your smile everyday at school. I "waited" whenever someone mentioned your name. I "waited" myself to sleep remembering the night we made love four times in a row. I "waited" so long, it almost killed me.

So I left, because, to tell the God's honest truth, I was tired of reading the same issue of Life over and over again.

and:

Illusions of a Rainbow

Remember Every Dream.

Once, Remember A Neon-Glowing Eroticism.

You're Even Lovely Laughing. Our World

Grew Richer Each & Every Night.

But Love's Useless; Eats

Insides, Never Dies, Is Growing Old.

Violence Is Our Language. Eternally Troubled.

Just Call Me Nostradoofus

So, I'm rummaging through some old stuff the other day. I still have a sweater vest from 1st grade. Why? I know not.

I still have my Magic Window (from the 70's). The one toy I wasn't able to destroy/take apart - unlike the plethora of Etch-A-Sketch's I owned.

Then I came upon this. THIS speech won 1st place (?!?!?!) for me back in 4th grade. Who the hell were my competitors? Why am I under the impression I was smart back then? Did I win simply by just being cute? Oh if I could go back in time to that evening in the Havre de Grace Elementary School cafeteria.

Tommorows Promise

This speech is about schools of the year 2000. I think the schools are going to be fun. The kjds will be learning what we didn't learn. The gym will have new games and the gym will be bigger. The music will have different notes and the kids will make songs theirselves. The library will have thicker books for ages 6 to 20. The problems the kids will have is forgetting work, getting wrong answers, and getting sick all the time. The kids will buy bigger bookbags so they can take all their books home.

Will the teachers be robots or real? How long will schools be? 6 hours, 1 hour, 4 hours? Willl schools be on Sat and Sun? Will schools run all year? Will all the teachers be men? Here are some questions and what other kids will know. PLus in the cafeteria will the kids throw food on the floor? Will they put corn and spaghetti together and what will they call it?

Probably the report card will have

Q for quick

R for receiving

S for starting

T for terrible

U for unable

Will the school teach by T.V> or Radio? Will words on tests be I see you cat dog bird. How many words will there be 1 or 200? Will the desks and chairs be automatic like push a button and the desks and chairs come whirling, dancing, and spinning like a ballerina waiter. The chairs will probably be made of granite and marble.

Will schools start for the age of 8? End for 89? Instead of desks and chairs will they work in beds. Will the schools be made of canvas?

Thank you for attending P.T.A.

Y?50B-Cause...

You posted that picture on Planetout.com

You answered my email

You didn't think I was too old

You gave good phone

You stayed around even though I was an hour late

You ate my doughnuts the next morning

You didn't rob me while I was at work

You went to Home Depot with me for our second date

You make me laugh

We put Joan and Christina to shame when we fight

We go to bed angry but wake up not-so-angry

You love TV as much as I do

You're a great cook

You're a foodie

You made me like kale, Mexican, and tomatoes again

You make me laugh when you're "feeling the music"

You have a nice singing voice

Your mom

Your smile

You're beefy

Your calves

You're a great Jeopardy opponent

Your eyes

The way you you look when you wear dark/rich colors

You make an ugly Mama Edie

You've been my chauffeur in spite of my back-seat driving

You pretty much supported me while I was on "sabbatical"

You put up with my highs and lows

You haven't left me in spite of everything

You let me soak up the sun while you frolic in the ocean

You fall asleep on the couch - glasses askew, hands in underwear

You look mighty fine in a suit

You have no shame in crying during sappy TV shows

You're a great kisser

Hate smoking as much as I do

You started a garden this year

You actually come around to my point of view once in a while

You got the job in NYC

You like to do art galleries and museums

I like introducing you to new music

You like to travel

You made me get my passport

You made me get rid of THAT gray shirt

You made me get rid of pleated pants

You wear Happy

You like wine

You let me back after I said I was out of your life "for good"

You broke up with me (that whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing)

You were on TV

You wear deodorant

You still tell people I'm an actor even though you haven't seen me in action

Just because. Happy Anniversary, Dan!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Jeff, you really should think before you speak...

So, I'm in line to get on an elevator. Elevator door opens and people start crowding in. I'm next to get on. Hesitate for a brief second because it looks full. Decide I've been waiting long enough as it is. Door closes. I hear:

This elevator goes down, I'm blaming you.

I notice she's looking at me. Smiling, mind you, but still. What do I do? I scan left to right the occupants of the elevator. I respond:

You're kidding, right? I'm probably the lightest person in here.

I still have 7 floors to go.

If you're gonna do it, shut up and do it already!

Monday @ 5:05pm

Prefacing all by saying my allergy headache is killing me.

I'm out on Riverside Drive walking Marcy and Ted. Marcy's already "number 2'd." Her excrement has been bagged and i'm holding said bag while Ted is doing his thing at the moment.  A pretty big black truck drives by.

Guy in truck: Pick up your dog's shit, asshole!

Not really think but acting on reaction I flip the bird. Immature, I know but harmless.

As I'm picking up Ted's "number 2" the truck backs up in front of me.

Guy #1: What the fuck was that?

Me: What?

Guy #1: You give me the finger?

Me: Yeah

Guy #1: Why?

Me: Why'd YOU call me an asshole?

Guy #1: You weren't picking up after your dog.

Me: Serious? What did I have in my hand at the time you made your outburst? Huh? A bag filled with on of my dog's crap. So OBVIOUSLY I do clean up after them. Also, not sure if you're even aware but my dog was squatting and doing his thing as you drove by. I like to actually wait til he's done before I actually start picking it up. Not really the kind to put the bag under my dog's ass while he craps.

Guy #2: You a smartass or something? Looking to get your ass kicked?

Me:  Well, why'd you call me an asshole? Dude, if you're gonna kick my ass for absolutely no reason, shut up and do it already. 

Guy #1: Excuse me?

Me: Not gonna repeat myself. I didn't do anything. If you feel the need to prove you're "the shit"

       to the people standing over there or if you just thought you were being funny, then kick.              my. ass. You're the man. Just get it over with.

Mind you, my crazy face and voice have taken over which I think Ted picks up on because he starts growling and barking at the the 3 guys (who haven't gotten out of the truck yet).

Guy #1: That dog bite?

Me: Yeah. He bites!

Guy #3: You think you're tough because of the dog?

Me: No! I don't think I'm tough at all. Never said I was. Did I say I was? Just get tired of ass... Good Lord I. Wasn't. Doing. Anything. But walking my dogs. When you felt the need to call me an asshole and "put me in my place." That shit doesn't work with me anymore. So again, if you're gonna kick my ass like you said you were then do it. If not I need to get home and feed the dogs.

Mind you, the last paragraph is not verbatim but is loud. Incomplete sentences and I am seething.

Guy #1: Jesus, faggot. Calm down.

Me: (Something along the lines of) AARGGGH... or GWAARRGH

They drive off.

=====================

I hate machismo. I hate bullying. Didn't take it from my older brother and not taking it from anyone else.