Friday, March 18, 2011

EXTRA! EXTRA!

I had the privilege of being a movie extra this past week for 2 nights – 13.5 hours Monday night and 10 hours Tuesday night.

These are my thoughts and observations of those nights.

Garry Marshall films shouldn't exist. They cater to the lowest common denominator. As my bf, Dan, so eloquently put it – he's the Applebee's of directors. Maybe I'm still mad at him for screwing up “Exit to Eden” as bad as he did.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get headshots taken. Damn shame I haven't found out how to take a decent picture. Hate my smile, or lack thereof. For some reason the majority of pictures taken of me make me look like white trash. Or my right eye “dies” mid-flash. And these big-ass cheeks make my face look funny. If I ever win the lottery big (well, it would help if I played it) I would get all new teeth and have my cheeks deflated. But, yeah, I need to perfect a smile and get headshots. I miss acting. Damn my insecurities!

I've never been a participator of New Year's Eve festivities anyway but to spend a good portion of the evening reenacting New Year's Eve in Times Square? Over and over again? Miming cheers. Screaming and cheering. Miming cheers. Counting down. Miming cheers. Wiped me out.. haven't acted that hard in ages.

I think for every 10 people I meet in life I like 1 of them and can tolerate, maybe, 3 of them. One of the few people I did meet and loved talking to? We were split up to go film different scenes and, unfortunately, our paths never crossed again. There were at least 800+ extras. And I never got her name. I'm really bad about introducing myself.

I'm extremely grateful for the socks Dan knitted me. I only wish I would have worn them the first night as well.

For the most part Jon Bon Jovi's music does nothing for me so that was interesting having to dance to his music in a pretty cramped setting. I decided to go the apathetic route and move minimally – after all I'm pretty certain in real life not everyone out on NYE is gonna be into a certain artist. I'm all about the realism.

Watching old people dance to Jon Bon Jovi is interesting.

Oh and I lucked out. Managed to avoid wearing the Nivea “fun” hats and carrying the Nivea “fun” balloons the whole time. Sweet.

Seriously, we're in a crowded setting and you're gonna light up just because we're on a little break? Oh wait, I just saw you're missing a few teeth and you have some nasty-ass sallow skin. That explains it. God I hate smoking.

I'm a freak. Not sure what prompts me at times to actually tell people what I'm thinking. There was this girl who was talking to her friends. Then she was alone. I decide to approach her and remark “Okay, you're gonna think I'm weird but just had to tell you you have a great look. Not hitting on you because I'm gay. Just think you're cute as hell. And the outfit on you – well, you're just put together very nicely. Okay, I'm gonna shut up and walk over there. Hope you're having a good time.” And then I walk away – making NO eye contact whatsoever again with her. I'm a freak I tell ya.

Hillary Swank is really pretty in person.

Wish someone was taping me/my face when I realized what kind of scene we were doing at one point. New Year's Eve ball stops dropping, interrupted by a main character's speech on a big monitor. We in the crowd are wondering what in the hell is going on. The speech goes on we're taking in every word. Come the end of it we're applauding it. Not that it's the end but we're proud of what she's said. Yeah, it's one of THOSE films. I can't stand films where a character imposes himself and his thought on a crowd. Again, lowest common denominator. Damn you, Garry Marshall!!

Much like I think it's mandatory everyone in the US should have Health Care I think everyone should have V05 Treatments, if needed.

Was making me mad when people would say “Yeah, but it's hard when you're directing 600 people.” No, no it isn't. One or 600, when you're told to stop talking you need to stop talking. One or 600, when you're told to walk to this spot you've obviously heard because you are walking only to stop and talk to a friend. I don't get it.

Craft Service food was pretty good. The stuff I ate at least.

I so wanted to see Sophia Vergera in person. I've got a mad 5-on-the-Kinsey-Scale crush on her.

To those who wondered why we couldn't be filming in the Summer? Really, you want to be wearing coats, scarves, gloves in NYC Summer heat? I didn't think so.

I'm now gonna pay attention to crowd scenes more often. Should be fun spotting the same people over and over again. Just in different settings.

Must get my ass over to Central Casting next Friday.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

And the Oscar goes to?




No commentary. Haven't even seen all the films, actually. Just doing this for fun. That being said - Day & Night better win!




PICTURE The King's Speech WON!

ACTOR Colin Firth – The King's Speech WON!

SUPPORTING ACTOR Christian Bale – The Fighter WON!

ACTRESS Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine

Natalie Portman - Black Swan WON!

SUPPORTING ACTRESS Melissa Leo – The Fighter WON!

DIRECTOR Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan

Tom Hooper - The King's Speech WON!

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE Restropo

Inside Job WON!

DOCUMENTARY SHORT The Warriors of Quigang

Strangers No More WON!

ANIMATED FEATURE Toy Story 3 WON!

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM Biutiful

In a Better World WON!

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY Christopher Nolan - Inception

The King's Speech WON!

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network WON!

CINEMATOGRAPHY Black Swan

Inception WON!

MAKEUP The Wolfman WON!

ART DIRECTION Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1

Alice in Wonderland WON!

ANIMATED SHORT FILM Day & Night

The Lost Thing WON!

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM Wish 143

God of Love WON!

VISUAL EFFECTS Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1

Inception WON!

COSTUME DESIGN Alice in Wonderland WON!

FILM EDITING Black Swan

The Social Network WON!

SOUND MIXING Inception WON!

SOUND EDITING Inception WON!

ORIGINAL SCORE Inception

The Social Network WON!

ORIGINAL SONG "I See the Light” - Tangled

"We Belong Together" - Toy Story 3 WON!


Monday, February 21, 2011

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb (part 2)

More writing from my late teens/early 20s. Continue to be amazed by:


An Evening of Sexual Intercourse with Reality

ACT 1

Setting: A dimly lit McDonalds
Time: 6:02 p.m.

SHE: (blowing smoke into HIS face):

Do you know what that means?



ACT 2

Setting: Same as ACT 1
Time: A second later

HE:

Yeah, it means I'm going to throw up if you don't stop!


THE END



and...

Bedside Insanity

Qadaffi's alive.
G.I. Joe's gotten smaller.
Quadaffi's still alive.
Boo Berry's aren't to be found in any store.

Kadaffi... yep, he's still alive.
Fats Domino's not getting any younger.
Gadaffy still lives.
Jason lives - another new beginning.

Codaphi's alive and well,

And I'm still waking up in the middle of the night
making love to my pillow.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb

Perspectives of an Inactive Dweeb. THIS is the (appropriately named) folder I came upon this weekend of writing from my late teens/early 20s.

I present you with:

In the Waiting Room

I fell in love with you.

O.K., so maybe it was lust, but no matter what it was, it felt good. I even knew you had a boyfriend but something in me didn't give a shit. I saw the way he treated you and knew that wasn't how you were to be treated. Not a day went by when I didn't see you two arguing, usually resulting with you crying and him walking away. Still you stayed with him even when I promised you more of my love than he could even supply.

"Wait" was the reply so "wait" was what I did. I "waited" when I saw your smile everyday at school. I "waited" whenever someone mentioned your name. I "waited" myself to sleep remembering the night we made love four times in a row. I "waited" so long, it almost killed me.

So I left, because, to tell the God's honest truth, I was tired of reading the same issue of Life over and over again.

and:


Illusions of a Rainbow


Remember Every Dream.

Once, Remember A Neon-Glowing Eroticism.

You're Even Lovely Laughing. Our World

Grew Richer Each & Every Night.

But Love's Useless; Eats

Insides, Never Dies, Is Growing Old.

Violence Is Our Language. Eternally Troubled.


Friday, September 17, 2010

Just Call Me Nostradoofus

So, I'm rummaging through some old stuff the other day. I still have a sweater vest from 1st grade. Why? I know not.
I still have my Magic Window (from the 70's). The one toy I wasn't able to destroy/take apart - unlike the plethora of Etch-A-Sketch's I owned.

Then I came upon this. THIS speech won 1st place (?!?!?!) for me back in 4th grade. Who the hell were my competitors? Why am I under the impression I was smart back then? Did I win simply by just being cute? Oh if I could go back in time to that evening in the Havre de Grace Elementary School cafeteria.





Tommorows Promise


This speech is about schools of the year 2000. I think the schools are going to be fun. The kjds will be learning what we didn't learn. The gym will have new games and the gym will be bigger. The music will have different notes and the kids will make songs theirselves. The library will have thicker books for ages 6 to 20. The problems the kids will have is forgetting work, getting wrong answers, and getting sick all the time. The kids will buy bigger bookbags so they can take all their books home.


Will the teachers be robots or real? How long will schools be? 6 hours, 1 hour, 4 hours? Willl schools be on Sat and Sun? Will schools run all year? Will all the teachers be men? Here are some questions and what other kids will know. PLus in the cafeteria will the kids throw food on the floor? Will they put corn and spaghetti together and what will they call it?


Probably the report card will have

Q for quick

R for receiving

S for starting

T for terrible

U for unable


Will the school teach by T.V> or Radio? Will words on tests be I see you cat dog bird. How many words will there be 1 or 200? Will the desks and chairs be automatic like push a button and the desks and chairs come whirling, dancing, and spinning like a ballerina waiter. The chairs will probably be made of granite and marble.


Will schools start for the age of 8? End for 89? Instead of desks and chairs will they work in beds. Will the schools be made of canvas?


Thank you for attending P.T.A.




Monday, June 14, 2010

Y?50B-Cause...

You posted that picture on Planetout.com

You answered my email

You didn't think I was too old

You gave good phone

You stayed around even though I was an hour late

You ate my doughnuts the next morning

You didn't rob me while I was at work

You went to Home Depot with me for our second date

You make me laugh

We put Joan and Christina to shame when we fight

We go to bed angry but wake up not-so-angry

You love TV as much as I do

You're a great cook

You're a foodie

You made me like kale, Mexican, and tomatoes again

You make me laugh when you're "feeling the music"

You have a nice singing voice

Your mom

Your smile

You're beefy

Your calves

You're a great Jeopardy opponent

Your eyes

The way you you look when you wear dark/rich colors

You make an ugly Mama Edie

You've been my chauffeur in spite of my back-seat driving

You pretty much supported me while I was on "sabbatical"

You put up with my highs and lows

You haven't left me in spite of everything

You let me soak up the sun while you frolic in the ocean

You fall asleep on the couch - glasses askew, hands in underwear

You look mighty fine in a suit

You have no shame in crying during sappy TV shows

You're a great kisser

Hate smoking as much as I do

You started a garden this year

You actually come around to my point of view once in a while

You got the job in NYC

You like to do art galleries and museums

I like introducing you to new music

You like to travel

You made me get my passport

You made me get rid of THAT gray shirt

You made me get rid of pleated pants

You wear Happy

You like wine

You let me back after I said I was out of your life "for good"

You broke up with me (that whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing)

You were on TV

You wear deodorant

You still tell people I'm an actor even though you haven't seen me in action


Just because. Happy Anniversary, Dan!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Jeff, you really should think before you speak...

So, I'm in line to get on an elevator. Elevator door opens and people start crowding in. I'm next to get on. Hesitate for a brief second because it looks full. Decide I've been waiting long enough as it is. Door closes. I hear:

This elevator goes down, I'm blaming you.

I notice she's looking at me. Smiling, mind you, but still. What do I do? I scan left to right the occupants of the elevator. I respond:

You're kidding, right? I'm probably the lightest person in here.

I still have 7 floors to go.