Thursday, March 27, 2014

What, then an afterbirth mint?

So, us background actors are on break from working on a film. I'm talking with a friend of mine about this and that. The topic of food and cooking comes up - we discuss our favorite dishes to make. I talk about how I make a mean loaf of bread. Her thing is lasagna. A girl, known for busting into many a group's talks and talking about herself, standing nearby decides to enter into our conversation and then this happens:

Girl (excitedly): I made a really good mushroom placenta the other night.

Me: Hmm... interesting. Where'd you get it from?

Girl: From Whole Foods.

Me: The mushrooms, sure, but where'd you get the other stuff?

Girl (getting snippy): I said Whole Foods.

Me: When'd they start selling that?

Girl: Um, like, forever.

Me: I don't know, I'm pretty sure they don't sell that at Whole Foods. Not sure even a specialty store would sell that.

Girl (getting testy): Um, I'm pretty sure I know what I bought. Were you there??

Me: Nope. But I'm pretty sure you didn't make placenta.

Girl: Do you even know what it is?

Me: Yep, I know what placenta is. Let me google that word for you and see if YOU know what it is.

Girl: Huh?

Me: While I'm also gonna google the word "polenta" and see if that's possibly what you made the other night.

Girl: (sound of crickets chirping - then she exits stage left)


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